So Chris, (the kids father) graciously drives us to the Phoenix Int'l Airport and goes through e-ticketing with us. I will tell you what.... they really need to leave the old fashioned ticketing counter open. At least one or two. We had a million elderly folks flying with us to Hawaii that day and that e-ticket thing is just too complicated for them!! There was this one gentleman cussing at the computer under his breath. Finally after getting through the line in which I had to pay an extra 20 dollars just to check 1 bag!! We headed for security with our carry on luggage that consisted of a rolly suitcase for myself, Morganne and Nathaniel. A pink briefcase for me with my laptop in it. A carry on bag for Nathaniel with his Wii in it and a carry on bag for Morganne with her chonies in it . lol
We said goodbye to Chris at the gate and the kids started to tear up as did I! Then through security we went. I think people either hated me or felt sorry for me. I know as many times as I fly watching those mom's go through security with a 6 month old baby and a stroller only evokes deep feelings of sympathy and a sigh of relief that I am not her. So, I guess I should be grateful at least that mine walk on their own since they are 9 and11. But, it still was a fiasco. We got to the security guy at the podium and he checked my ticket with my driver's license. Then he turned to the kids and said "which one of you is Morganne?" Morganne replied "I am" with this look a parent gives their child when they are frustrated and trying to be patient. I could read her thoughts as she smirked, "could I really be a Nathaniel?" and "this guy is part of our nation's security?" I smiled to myself because she is so much like me. "Alright!" , he says "That is one ticket to New Zealand!" Morganne just wrinkled her forehead and looked at me as if to say, "whatever". My goddess!! I have a teenager on my hands and she is only 11. Then "You must be Jim". "Huh?" was Nathaniel's reply. Looking puzzled as ever he says, "No, i'm Nathaniel". "Ok Nathaniel, that is one ticket to Greenland." Nathaniel replies that he is supposed to be going to Hawaii. Then he turns to me with this slight look of doubt and asked me if we are going to Hawaii. I reassure him we are going to Hawaii as planned (thanks security guy for annoying one kid and confusing the other). So now it's time for the hard part and I give my kids explicit instructions. Set your bags in the bin, remove your shoes and jackets and put those in the same bin as your bags ( I know you think it's silly but trust me, you must specify), put your rolly suitcase on the conveyor belt with the handle in, walk through the metal detector one at a time. Meanwhile, I have to take off my shoes, remove my laptop from the briefcase, take off my coat, and put my suitcase up on the conveyor belt as well. It felt like it took an eternity but, finally we are through the metal detector and on the other side getting our luggage. Then I hear this nasal sounding female voice saying "Whose bag is this?" I turn around to look and see that she is holding up Nathaniel's bag! I'm gonna die! What is in his bag? What did I not see? Oh my god! My thoughts are racing a mile a minute and I was about to respond when my son innocently looked up and said "It's mine!" She looked in square in the eye and told him, "Wii's are the same as laptops and they need to be taken out of the bag. Trust me, we know what a Wii looks like on the inside we have been trained." "Well, we weren't aware of that", I said curtly. She took the Wii out of the bag and ran it again through x-ray and when homeland security was finally satisfied our Wii was not a threat to anyone, we got our shoes on and headed for the gate. The gate was crowded and I finally found seats next to this lady and her very grumpy husband who was in a wheelchair. The kids left me with their stuff and being free and unencumbered ran off to the overpriced airport shop to spend the money their dad gave them for the trip. I took the opportunity to breathe and think about handling the next obstacle in my way which was boarding the plane with the kids.
About 20 minutes later each of the kids came back with a bag of rocks in one hand and a fistful of receipt and change in the other. I just shook my head. At least they didn't spend all the money their dad gave them. I of course came prepared for the trip. I had plenty of dollars for my cocktails, headset rental, the new Stephen King book called Under the Dome, my laptop and money for snacks. I also had a deck of cards for the kids, the laptop for them to play games and rental headset money for the inflight movie which I knew was to be "Up" by Disney Pixar. 6 hours of relaxation. Just gotta get through the boarding and we are all set. I made sure our seats were all together so no one else had to sit next to one of the kids. Not that they are not great polite kids but, I knew I would feel safer with them next to me anyhow. Besides, I knew they were going to have to go to the bathroom an inordinate amount of times just for novelty purposes of peeing on a plane. This was a first flight for both of them and to Hawaii...... lucky kids. Of course they don't realize it. Finally time to board and they are boarding physically disabled first. There went old grumpy guy and his nice wife. Then parents with children. Oh yes! That is me!! I start to gather my suitcases. "Children under 5", they reiterate. Damn! I had gotten my hopes up. First Class. Then back of plane (which is logical..... it drives me crazy that every Southwest Flight I have been on boards the front of plane first!) Then time for me and the kids. In their excitement they rush through the ticket check, have to be called back and head for the boarding ramp. Their eyes got round with excitement when they saw the opening to the plane. The flight attendants welcomed the kids and they felt important. It was cute. I'm reading the row numbers looking for the correct seats, waiting for the moment when I have to hold everyone up boarding the plane getting my kids settled. Aha! There is our seat! The plane had two seats next to the window. Three seats in the middle of the plane and then two again on the other side. I realized the kids were sitting next to the window and I was across the aisle right next to them. Glory Halleluah! I am gonna actually get to relax and not have to stand every 10 minutes for them to go explore the bathroom! They can bug each other!
Ok time for explicit instructions again. That is your seat Morganne, sit there and put on your seat belt and leave your suit case in the aisle. That is your seat Nathaniel, sit there and put on your seat belt and leave your suit case in the aisle. Here are your bags, place them under the seat in front of you and push them all the way in. Don't mess with your seats or the trays. Just sit still for now. I put all of our rolly suitcases in the overhead bins, check to be sure the kids followed my instructions (they had), and sat down and put my briefcase under the seat in front of me. Traffic began to flow by me again and I realized i got things settled in record time. I look over at the kids who are grinning from ear to ear and catch the eye of an older lady in the seats behind the kids and her husband. She nods approval at the job I have done getting the kids settled. Then she asks if this is their first flight. I tell her it is and she smiles.
Morganne and Nathaniel "Their First Flight"
The flight did not go as planned. Cocktails and snacks had to be paid by credit card or debit card and I realized that I left my credit card at home and my bank was sending my debit card to Hawaii along with my checks with my Hawaii address. Damn! No cocktails! That also meant no headsets. I had a pair in my bag but they said you had to pay anyway even if you had your own. My battery on my laptop was dead. The kids stayed up playing video games on it the night before. The kids were very good on the plane ride. I think they only went to the bathroom 6 times the whole 6 hour flight, played cards, were very polite during beverage service and lunch service to the flight attendants. Around hour 3 or 4 they started getting restless and I got hit with a barrage of "are we there yet"s. Then the inflight movie started and this nice guy sitting in front of me noticed Nathaniel staring longingly at the movie screen and he gave him his earphones to use. I gave Morganne a pair of earphones I had in my briefcase that were actually for my cell phone. No one ever said anything to me and they worked just fine. Thank god! That bought me a couple more hours of peace. As the plane descended Nathaniel was having a hard time hearing and he started to worry about his hearing and he got very upset that he could not hear. I kept telling him to yawn and that everything would be fine. I tried to explain air pressure but he was not getting it and was starting to panic. The same nice man that lent Nathaniel his earphones then gave him a whole demonstration with a water bottle about air pressure and how it effects the body in flight. Wow how nice! It was almost like watching an episode of Bill Nye the Science Guy. Well, his presentation did the trick and Nathaniel calmed down. Finally we made it to the island of Oahu and landed at the Honolulu airport. Our connecting flight didn't leave for two hours so we had some time to kill and I had had no cocktails. Lunch on the plane left me and the kids hungry still so a little snack would be great too. We walked to our gate first where our connecting flight would leave to be sure we knew where it was and passed a restaurant in the airport called Stinger Rays. It looked very Hawaiian and tropical and I thought "Mai Tai". Once I was sure where the gate was and double checked the connecting flight time to Hilo we headed back to Stinger Rays. The prices were as expected very high but, what can I say..... I knew where I was. I proceeded to have a 12 dollar mai tai and I had a serious buzz after I was done. The kids had drinks as well. Morganne a Shirley Temple and Nathaniel had a Roy Rogers. We decided not to eat after all as I remembered my sister wanted to go for lunch in Hilo after we arrived.
Morganne and Nathaniel at "Stinger Rays" Honolulu Airport
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